Did that person really mean you harm? When you read that e-mail, do you really know the intention and meaning and heart of the person who put it in writing? Do you know that e-mail often carries the emotions, thoughts and conclusions of the reader, and that can be totally different than what the writer/sender meant? For example, someone mentions part of a conversation that the two of you had trying to honor what you shared, on a bad day you might take it as jealousy or competition, not because the person had that inside them, but because you have it inside you. Romans 2:1 talks about those who accuse others and are doing the things they accuse.
You have to remember that we have thief (John 10:10). When you wratchet down your perceptions against others, believing they mean you harm, but you don't really check out the facts, and give time to hear a matter out, you leave a history of relationship destructions in your path. Unfortunately, those who do this are unaware that the negativity and paranoia and fearful projects are coming from inside them. They want to place the cause of the pain squarely on the outside, rather than deal with what is inside.
So if every time you have a negative interaction, your choice is to avoid, shut down, not check it out, then you won't know the truth, and the shape of what you believe to be true... will actually be what you make come true for you.
The opposite of this can be true, too, when you assume false responsibility for all the negative dynamics in your relating. In fact, the thief will use two believers to cause division and destruction if one blames the other and the other takes false responsibility for the accusatory, condemning and judgmental behavior of the one doing the blaming. Speaking the truth in love is part of our maturity and growing in love. Conversations with people that matter involve not only listening, but hearing each other out.
Listen to your own heart, what have you accused people of doing lately? Perhaps they are doing or intending nothing of the sort, but you are projecting -- from within -- the things that come out and defile others? Maybe not, but do you value your relationships and friendships enough to be patient and willing to explore that possibility?
You have to remember that we have thief (John 10:10). When you wratchet down your perceptions against others, believing they mean you harm, but you don't really check out the facts, and give time to hear a matter out, you leave a history of relationship destructions in your path. Unfortunately, those who do this are unaware that the negativity and paranoia and fearful projects are coming from inside them. They want to place the cause of the pain squarely on the outside, rather than deal with what is inside.
So if every time you have a negative interaction, your choice is to avoid, shut down, not check it out, then you won't know the truth, and the shape of what you believe to be true... will actually be what you make come true for you.
The opposite of this can be true, too, when you assume false responsibility for all the negative dynamics in your relating. In fact, the thief will use two believers to cause division and destruction if one blames the other and the other takes false responsibility for the accusatory, condemning and judgmental behavior of the one doing the blaming. Speaking the truth in love is part of our maturity and growing in love. Conversations with people that matter involve not only listening, but hearing each other out.
Listen to your own heart, what have you accused people of doing lately? Perhaps they are doing or intending nothing of the sort, but you are projecting -- from within -- the things that come out and defile others? Maybe not, but do you value your relationships and friendships enough to be patient and willing to explore that possibility?